kinda disapointed;

so much for not eating today. i ate a little bag of peanuts, then a bowl of chicken noodle soup, then some jelly beans, then a piece of chocolate...
so let me add this up

peanuts - 50 cal.
soup - 60 cal.
jelly beans - 30 cal.
chocolate - 40 cal.
coffee - 120 cal.

so maybe 300 calories today. not bad for my first day but still.
i usually have about 1500 or 2000.

i plan to do my little workout routine tonight so minus 10-20 calories...
i have a longgg way to fucking go.
without food distracting me i realized what i really want for myself.
i wanna have piercings, tattoo's, and an awesome body. that seriously is what i really want. more than anything. i gotta be skinny though. very, very skinny.
itll happen with timee.

i used to have my lip pierced, but i took it out. guess fucking why though. cause it was too hard to eat with it. isn't that a fucking pathetic excuse? i think so.
i had an awesome body.
look what fucking food did?
destroyed me. UGH. i'm so pissed off. i hate food. i fucking hate food.